Paint Set Sun Set
God tried to paint the sunset tonight,
but I think His paint set spilled.
Cause the sky was pink and the clouds were gold
and my heart was filled, my tears took hold
and I let go of the steering wheel
came crashing into the highway divider.
Wake up, find the world stopped;
the world all frozen and still.
Tears clinging to my mother's cheek
as she grasps the telephone screaming,
choking and hoping out of disbelief;
grabbing on to anything she can throw.
My eyes open and watch it again.
rewinding and finding the exact moment
I gave up and let go,
let God take hold, let God take control.
Watching my car come crashing down,
spinning around, exploding upon hitting the ground.
Somehow worse than dreams of drowning,
explosions and Trojan wars and nights,
cold nights sleeping on the floor.
Life flashes by backwards from there:
the accident, my last night, and so on.
Watching every tear and every smile in reverse.
My birth, mother's arms welcoming
me to this curse, this life free,
this life that overwhelmed me and pushed
and pulled and ate away till I asked,
begged and pleaded to be taken.
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